illuminato dalle stelle cadenti.

Birthday ecard from my Bruvver!

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 23:53:07 GMT

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

todays my birthday and I get one every year!~~!! <3

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 13:34:05 GMT

6 months strong.

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 03:02:00 GMT

Tonight marks our 6 month anniversary! <3

He treats me like a queen. He is everything a girl could ever want.

And he is mine <3

My voice was heard!!!!!!!!!!

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 04:56:55 GMT

OBAMA WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

image was jacked from Miss Judy! I couldn't help it, it made me so happy!!!

Sat, 01 Nov 2008 15:18:45 GMT

more animals

girls.

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 02:19:17 GMT

I'm seriously in need of some hot girl on girl action.................. seriously. *wet*

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 01:52:27 GMT

yeah......... I gots that.......

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 01:55:28 GMT

hypersexual (hī'pər-sĕk'shū-əl)

Having an exceptionally high sex drive or libido according to a social, cultural, or psychiatric standard; being excessively interested or involved in sexual activity; being oversexed. Also called nymphomania in women and satyriasis or Don Juanism in men.

Sat, 04 Oct 2008 00:10:27 GMT

Your result for Which Vampire the Masquerade Clan Are You?...

The Degenerate Artiste {Toreador}

The Toreador are a clan of sensuality. Possessed of a supernatural artistic ability and a charm all their own, the vampires of clan Toreador are both envied and hated. They tend to range from deep and sensitive artistes to loud and extravagant extroverts. Toreadors see the depth in every action and the beauty in every move, to the point of utter entrancement. They find beauty in tragedy and tend to idealize their world. The suffering artist, the gallery gazelle and the utter indulgant are all common Toreador themes. Any of these could be you.

For you to be a Toreador means that you see beyond the mundane and glimpse something truly wonderous. You tend to feel misunderstood and sometimes alone as others don't seem to feel or see things as deeply as you do. The narrowminded will try to label you but you truly cannot be labeled. However, in the scheme of being undead you will find your passions will fade or become frustrating. Also, in the world of true survival you're no maverick. If the weight of a person were to be judged by the soul then you would be platinum, however and utterly unrivaled.

Take Which Vampire the Masquerade Clan Are You? at HelloQuizzy

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 02:58:25 GMT

sometimes you just crave the familiar.

every torn meets their final day

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 03:09:25 GMT

Sometimes I wonder what is going on in Bush's mind while he sits there and lies through his teeth. How he can pretend to think that our economy is okay and will get better by selling off our debt to China and other out of country investors. I wonder how he feels within himself knowing he is selling our country's soul to the devil by chasing oil to fill his greedy pockets. I wonder how he feels about himself when he looks at himself in the mirror each morning knowing that he is the man responsible for families becoming homeless and thousands of deaths in a useless war against "terrorisim."

I only wish.. I could be there that day when Bush has to face himself and this devistation he has forced us to consume our lives with... to stand there with a bag of popcorn while his soul settles in his death and realizes all the heartache, pain, and misery he has created... I only wish I could see............his judgement day.

LOL

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 12:42:35 GMT

So, life has been good. I've been very productive lately and getting a lot of things done around my house and in my day to day life. Try to accomplish at least 1 thing a day on my long list of things to do. Last night I dyed my hair and did my dishes. Woohoo! Don't have to do either of those this weekend :) Very important to me to have Sundays as much as a lazy day as possible. I need a re-boot day, for sure!

The boyfriend has been great helping me with my tasks. He started painting my studio this weekend....... surprise surprise.. . its hot pink ;) WIth funky vintage green tile, it looks DELICIOUS!

He also helped me clean out my storage unit because apparently Humberto (ex) left all his stuff in there even though I had asked him to remove it. So we went through everything and threw out everything (with the exception of some documents and photos which I will mail to him in Michigan). I found quite a few very interesting things!!!! Including one letter written on Hello Kitty paper with a Hello Kitty envelope from some girl (she didn't write a name).

"I would of loved for me and you to be together for me to actually make you happy have the life and family that you want. But you love her more then you say and I think you still wanna be with her and if it wasn't because she doesn't want to have kids you will still be with her. Well you know my feelings and I don't know what else to say just that I love being with you, being your arms, holding you in mine, kissing you, you kissing me and us being together making love trying to have a baby. I'm going to miss all of these. I love you."

Bad grammer/english is her fault, not mine, just copied word for word. Yes, I am the other girl she is referring to, the only girl Humberto has ever dated that didn't want kids. LOL ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good lord. She wrote this in Jan 2007 ..... (refers back to old LJ entries)....... yup he and I were still fucking and acting as bf/gf even though we weren't. Gotta love it! We had a stack of girl's phone numbers too, not to mention cards and presents and such from girls as well. Hahaha. I have all the proof in the world that he was never faithful to me.... including sexual photos that were emailed to me last year of him and other girls while he and I were dating ....not that it much matters now, but it is amusing none the less.

The boyfriend and I couldn't stop laughing and making jokes while we cleaned out his junk. Most of it was trash and nasty and disgusting. We were covered in filth once we were done. Alas, now I have a HUGE storage unit for all the things that I want to put in there and all of Humberto's stuff is gone.... gone... gone.

A little frustrated I haven't lost any weight, but I'm going back to the doctor next week and going to show him what I've been eating so he can help me fix it. Thats about the only complaint that I have :)

Life is good, more later.. !

aweeeeee.....

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 12:07:15 GMT

me: "Maybe I'll get dressed up like that and fulfill that fantasy of yours..."
him: "Baby.. there is no need for you to get dressed up like anything.... you ARE my fantasy baby.. you are my fantasy."

4 months and counting!<3

phew.

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 03:02:30 GMT

So yesterday the boyfriend I were super duper productive. I got my oil changed and we ran a ton of errands for him. Hit up the lovely movie store in downtown Miami that has all movies (even ones in the theaters at that very moment) for $5.00. Bought Dark Knight and Wanted. Did some more running around and eventually I got sushi at the end of the night. On the way back to my house there was a flower guy in the road - only in Miami do you have people walking in the middle of a busy ass intersection to sell flowers, water, and churros - so the boyfriend observed the guy walking by and checked out the flowers and knocked on the window the very last second to get the guys attention as he walked by.

The boyfriend bought me beautiful red long stem roses <3 (pictures soon!)

He handed them to me as we drove off and gave me a huge kiss on my cheek and told me he loved me. I melted, of course. Today he saw the roses placed nicely in a vase on my desk in my studio and he came running into the kitchen where I was to tell me how beautiful they looked.... but he was quick to say "but not as beautiful as you" as he kissed me all on my neck.

Sometimes I think I'm in a dream when I'm with him.

After we got back to my place I ate some sushi and we watched Cocaine Cowboys 2 - wasn't as great as the first one but it got him all inspired with some creative film/media ideas and he was wired for the rest of the night. I promptly passed out. I was exhausted from running around all day.

This morning he took my car to his game (his is in the shop) and I had a bunch of coffee, chit chatted with my brother, and talked to my long time friend from Orlando, Miss Danielle. I got super amped up and inspired and wanted to run around and do a bunch of errands. The boyfriend came back with my car and I took him to his apt while I went out and did a ton of errands.

Got $100 worth of stuff from Avenue for $60! SCORE! I got this suuuuuuuuuuuper hot blouse and it was expensive but I couldn't pass it up, it looked so damn good on me!!! Also got some hot pink 5" high stripper shoes for $16 for photo shoots and some Godiva Coffee... mmmmm! Got some groceries and finally made it home by 7pm. Been doing loads of laundry ever since and cleaned my bathroom like a mad woman... needless to say, I'm flat out exxxxxxxxxhausted.

Looking forward to this being a productive week! But tomorrow, after work, I'm VEGGIN!

A month has passed since David took his own life...... I still think about him on a regular basis and sometimes get teary eyed. One day maybe I'll be inspired to write a poem about him... but lately my poetry just isn't flowing. Guess when the time is right.

I miss you David.

i heart miami.

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 04:17:46 GMT

only in Miami can you walk into a store and buy movies that are IN THEATERS on dvd with dvd quality for $5.00................. gotta love it<3

proud owner of Dark Knight.. and what!?

he says.........

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 15:37:03 GMT

"Baby I'm home! Come to my arms!"

yayayyayayy! my boyfriend is back from his trip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tonight!

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 00:56:53 GMT

going out with my gay boy royroy and dancin with the lesbians... woOhooo!!!!!!

skype<3

Sat, 30 Aug 2008 21:40:29 GMT

Skype is freaking BAD ASS! I get to see my niece thousands of miles away in real time and talk to her! She gets to show me all of her toys and drawings.. its so much fun!!!

I love skype, an amazing invention :)

say what..........?

Sat, 30 Aug 2008 00:26:17 GMT

Iraq has a 70 BILLION DOLLAR SURPLUS?!!!! wtf.............

brag brag brag

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 12:49:40 GMT

My boyfriend is so freaking amazing. He is out of town right now but we talk on the phone every evening and he was telling me about how his trip is going and such and then we started talking about his recent visit to the Aventura Mall to do some shopping for the people he was visiting. Low and behold, the boyfriend made a trip to the Betsey Johnson store and asked the girl working in there to introduce him to Betsey Johnson products because his girlfriend (me, duh!) LOVES Betsey Johnson and he wants to have a better understanding of the designer and what she makes. So this girl gave him a tour of the store and showed him all of the products and talked to him about Betsey!!!!!

When he told me this last night I about fell over. What guy goes to your favorite designer's store and asks to be taught all about that designer so he can better understand why his girlfriend loves the designer and so he can BUY stuff for her in the future!?!?!?! MY GUY DOES! I melted and gushed and smiled big the rest of the evening.

The boyfriend loooooves me! <3

eww.

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 13:08:17 GMT

I'm contaminated. Leave it to my body to be tired of being depressed and stressed out (death of a friend, work, house, etcetc) and get sick. So now its physically trying to force out all the stress and crap. Green goo galore.

Life is good. The boyfriend will finish painting my closet today and I am UBER excited about that! Perhaps while he's gone I will be able to install atleast one shelf and hang up some clothes! Ohmygod it will be SO AMAZING to have that closet finished, a project I started 6 months ago... hah.... er... 8 months ago, crap. Yah, I slack on personal projects sometimes.

I'm going back to the fat doctor next week. Time for plan B. I'm determined to be in the 230s by the end of the year, determined. I want to experience life and its really hitting me hard how much my weight is keeping me from doing some really cool and exciting stuff. Especially now that I have a super healthy boyfriend who wants to go do fun things together and I feel like I can't do them cause I'm so out of shape!

So... personal goals need to be met and taken care of. I've been slacking in some areas. Need to get on the ball. Gotta make my life what I want, for sure.

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 01:47:03 GMT

I stood there, watching you turn your back on me, choosing to walk away without saying goodbye....

I stood there for a few extra moments expecting you to turn around and realize how foolish it all was...

But in my lingering hesitation... you continued to walk.. I continued to stare... and we continued to rip all of those wounds... back open.

jeans

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 12:30:04 GMT

I've been on a hunt for jeans, not much luck. Tired of Lane Bryant's jeans that give me a saggy butt!~ So I ordered some from OldNavy.com, lets hope they fit well.... $25, can't beat that!

David C.

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 12:07:36 GMT

David.... this is how I remember you. I miss you.

RIP Dave C.

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 02:43:21 GMT

Hey, I'm feeling tired.
My time, is gone today.
You flirt with suicide.
Sometimes, that's ok.
Do what others say.
I'm here, standing hollow.
Falling away from me.
Falling away from me.
Day, is here fading.
That's when, I would say.
I flirt with suicide.
Sometimes kill the pain.
I can always say.
'It's gonna be better tomorrow'.
Falling away from me.
Falling away from me.

Beating me down.
Beating me, beating me.
Down, down.
Into the ground.
Screaming some sound.
Beating me, beating me.
Down, down.
Into the ground.

(falling away from me).
It's spinning round and round.
(falling away from me).
It's lost and can't be found.
(falling away from me).
It's spinning round and round.
(falling away from me).
Slow it down.

Beating me down.
Beating me, beating me.
Down, down.
Into the ground.
Screaming some sound.
Beating me, beating me.
Down, down.
Into the ground.

Twisting me, they won't go away.
So I pray, go away.

Life's falling away from me.
It's falling away from me.
Life's falling away from me.
Fuck!

Beating me down.
Beating me, beating me.
Down, down.
Into the ground.
Screaming some sound.
Beating me, beating me.
Down, down.
Into the ground.